I have no shame

I cant stop laughing at how incredibly sick that last picture of me with the wig is, so i started looking through old pictures and found QUITE a few where i am equally as hideous.




So there you have it. dimply chins, weird neck rolls, onion, lazy & drunk eyes, and a nice good abscess. Here is a tip for everyone out there. If you have a toothache, see a dentist. Or else you will end up looking like John McCain. please take note that in the last picture, everything on the south to southeast side of my face was like triple in size, including my nose.

Totally Nasty

In August I went back to Folsom for the weekend for a wedding. And as mentioned in that weekend post, i bought a Jessica Simpson extensions set at Mallys for like a ridiculously low price (i have always been curious about these hair pieces). So i bought it. No returns. Then i went to the salon and had my hair done and it was too dark to even try to be serious about these stupid extensions. So it turned into a pretty hilarious afternoon instead of a glamorous set of locks.
here is Scott, modeling the extensions and garage sale wig as a pair. (handlebar mustache was ALL him)
maddox was seriously in love with the extensions and was flinging them everywhere and loved his new long hair. (ok maybe not, maybe he just loved us laughing. he thought he was pretty hilarious)ummm, i skipped the extensions and just went straight to lesbian. (i obviously know this is the ugliest picture of me in the entire world)
Rafe is used to his thin, fine baby hair and as you can tell pretty much hated to have this flea infested wig on his head.
Kaisa looks like a beautiful Russian: blond on top, dark dark dark underneath. A hairstyle the Sacramento-Russians are famous for.

Am i right? Totally Nasty? i think so...

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disclaimer, i totally stole this entire post from kaisas blog. But since shes private 95% of you cant see these pictures so i felt it was necessary.

its monday...

and i got nothing really. Just that Grey's Anatomy was REALLY long and nothing happened, the little Juanita girl on Desperate Housewives makes me laugh really hard, and if my 4 yr old nephew was on "Don't Forget the Lyrics," he would win.

exhibit A:


my favorite part is the last 30 seconds...oh man hes funny. And also i love Chris Brown. Kids are never to young for Chris Brown.

interesting...

I am about to leave work to go home and change and head off to Anthropologie to work until 10pm. Im not excited or happy about this on a million levels.

Two things i am most upset about missing;

1. Not being able to go to the gym (wtf? what is happening to me?)
2. The 2hr season premiere of Grey's Anatomy.

The Long Look on Life

I blogged about this, almost a year ago back in November...my friend Michael shot a pretty heavy and interesting documentary on life in Provo, specifically of the homeless and the addicts. I just got word that its up in its entirety online so i thought i would post it here for all of you to watch.



warning: there is a teensy bit of drug abuse, so maybe dont have your kids sitting around as you watch it?

UGhhhhhhhhhhh

I dont know how much longer i can watch these two. They are poor sports and lazy and mean and i want them gone. COME ON HEBA, get rid of them!

Asthma Attacks?

Last night after work (before i could talk myself out of it), i went to the gym. Its probably been a good month since i have gone (embarrassing). If you are wondering what i did, it was this....(hopefully soon i will be sporting this purple sports bra and biker shorts number)

thats right, i was running. And i ran and ran and ran until my legs were tired (only 2 miles...BABY STEPS PEOPLE). I have never done this. I always run for a minute or two, and then i switch to walking for 5 minutes...the cycle continues. I have never been able to run 2 miles continuously without stopping. Not even when i was in my peak physical condition in high school and was going to various sports practices with gym visits on top of that. I never understood how people could like to run. Or hike. Those two activities always made me want to die. UNTIL my doctor gave me this....
my new best friend, THE INHALER. Yes, thats right folks, i have some sort of exercise induced asthma. I always just figured the burning in my mouth, throat and lungs(literal burning, like flames), the shortness of breath, the wheezing from the beginning of my workouts till the next day, was something that people just dealt with. Which is why i tend to shy away from the treadmill, and choose the elliptical...Anyway, no more. Its not that i like running now all of a sudden, but i didn't want to die and i didn't have a coughing attack all night keeping me awake.

Now i'm just a total nerd with an inhaler. Great.

Celebrity Crush

I kind of have a type.

Brain Dump

-i got my new duvet in the mail yesterday, i was so excited to come home from work and put it on my bed, it looked lovely, and then i crawled into bed and promptly decided i have to take it back. Its like the itchiest most uncomfortable material i have ever laid on.
-I took this picture right after i got ready for bed, turned the lights off, and was about ready to curl up with my nightly reads. Even without the duvet it looks inviting right?
-Speaking of my nightly reads, I have decided to re-read two of my favorite books and i am using this blog platform to tell you all to read them. First, "The Screwtape Letters" by CS Lewis, and second "The Bruce R McConkie Story" by his son, Joseph Fielding McConkie. Both kind of heavy reads, but i just read 2 letters in Screwtape, and then one chapter from "the story" and its perfect. GET READY TO BE INSPIRED.
-I'm going to the Bangles concert tonight....YES!!!!!! Thanks for the ticket, Tyna. Cant wait for our girl date and I cant wait to recreate the choreographed dance of "we've got the beat" from the YWs talent show when i was a beehive.
-In a month......
Derek+Shauna+
Mike+Cy
+Boston in the fall=
THE BEST VACATION EVER, and the only thing getting me through this HOT September in the desert. Just admit it, you're totally jealous huh?
-EVERYONE ORDER A PAINTING, OK?
-My sil-Kristine and i are talking on gchat right now about this, my HATRED for peoples homes that are covered wall to wall in pictures from their wedding. WE GET IT. You're married. You love your pictures, get an album.
-Download Kate Nash if you know whats good for you
-My mom is coming into town on Saturday for my nephews very first primary program. Should be good. We will see if he can execute his line "My tithing helps build temples" without using his "embarrassed, talk-like-a-baby, hands-in-his-mouth" voice. I'm excited, i miss primary programs.
-I think "the Biggest Loser" should stop showing people throwing up and with phlegmmy spit, its DISGUSTING.

end of rant.

90210=anorexics

cool tat.
hey ugly one....eat a sandwich. (snl joke, but really she is the least pretty one on the show)

Im not meaning this to turn into a teenager tv blog, but its my life, its boring.

Hair Lessons from The Hills

So i was watching last nights episode of "The Hills" and noticed something that i have been noticing for a while now...the middle part is making a comeback and its looking pretty good.
I think Laurens hair is always flawless, but is it partly because shes darling?
I mean could i pull off a middle part with a pony tail?
Loved it with a headband.
And adorable even when messy and not put together.

Lauren, job well done for always having perfect tresses.

Stephanie Pratt, on the other hand. YIKES.

Memory Lane

On my last trip to Utah, my friend Ashley, had the brilliant idea of taking pictures of all the places we have lived in Provo...a photo journal of our early 20's for posterity's sake. So that's what we did. Its been a while since i lived in most of these places, and it was frightening to go back and see them...how did i survive without hepatitis? Why did i think that it was a good idea to live in these scary apartments/houses to save a couple of bucks? Kind of makes me wish i would of just hunkered down at the Belmont or something (just kidding!).

number 1: Condo Row
Age when i lived here :18
Roommates: Kaity, Anne, and Heidi
Good Times: The entire time i lived here it was good. There was an apartment of boys that lived across the street that i was good friends with and i spent most of my time over there.
Something i would like to forget: Dating a 29 year old (gross), working at Hogi Yogi (double gross), and getting mono.

Number 2: California House
Age when i lived here: 18
Roommates: Tisha, Whitney, Chrissie, Camille and a 28 yr old that watched a lot of Jag.
Good times: my first residence in the 191st ward and all the friends i met that summer (brandon, matt, cambam, mere, herm house, etc...), romantic fireplace with Tisha's Sade CD, listening to all of Cameron and Matt's records (Cat Stevens, Kingston Trio, Heart)
Something i would like to forget: Edging the entire lawn with scissors, Larry the creepy slumlord.

Number 3: Chatham Towne
Age that i lived here: 19-20
Roommates: Melora, Lori and Sarah
Good Times: Morning Yoga, killer dance parties, Sarah's Peter Pan play at the Scera, starting beauty school, one of the best birthdays i have ever had.
Something i would like to forget: First experience with underground parking (scraped both sides of the dear Subaru on the first day), first experience with snow, 3 flights of stairs, dying my hair black with pink streaks.

Number 4: Oldham House Age when I lived here: 20
Roommates: Meredith, Jana, Lindsay, Tara, and i cant remember her name but she was nice and quiet and married a guy from Mongolia, i think.
Good Times: Lazy Summer days, painting on the grass with Ashlee Baldwin, BBQ's, a diet of grilled cheese sandwiches and Special K with red berries.
Something i would like to forget: sweating to death every night, Tara waking me up at 5am to drive her to work only a few blocks away, box elder bugs all over my room, food poisoning.

Number 5: The scary of all scaries, The Attic
Age when i lived here: 20
Roommates: Natalie and Ashlee
Good Times: Throwing Ashlee one of the best bridal showers of its time (its been easily topped since then, but it was a good starting place), our place FILLED with balloons when Ashlee got engaged, Natalie doing her impression of Delilah, nightly, rain on the tin roof, yes, i said the tin roof.
Something i would like to forget: Thinking a rapist is hiding ready to snatch me every time i left or came back to my house, giving people directions every time anyone came over (it was located behind a 4-plex and up that crazy rickety staircase), wearing stilettos coming up and down those same stairs (they are grated).

Number 6: SkyviewAge when i lived here: 21
Roommates: Alicia, Olivia, Lindsay, Camilla and Ashley
Good Times: Applying self tanner to Cameron Earl, getting ready every morning with Camilla and Ashley and listening to Hoobastank's "The Reason" on repeat, all of Alicia's treats and crafts, all of the visitors we got constantly (Skyview got a lot of traffic), being really really really tan, watching Oprah with Liv.
Something i would like to forget: 3 flights of stairs, the ugliest and worst furniture of all time, an always messy kitchen (way too small for 6 girls), my car battery that had to be jiggled while the ignition was turned on simultaneously (a job for 2...couldn't go anywhere alone).

Number 7: La Jolla

(picture coming soon)

Age I lived here: 21
Roommates: 2 girls i don't remember. They were random, we never really spoke and they were there for like 1 month of that summer.
Good Times: Practically living alone, rent was only 90 dollars, floating the Provo river, road trips, diet of chips and sour cream (no joke).
Something i would like to forget: a really high loft bed that put me dangerously close to the ceiling fan, my car getting towed for no registration(oops), trying to go blond again.


Number 8: The Remodeled BasementAge when I lived here: 21
Roommates: Amy and Shalee
Good Times: Living sandwiched between best friends in the yellow house and the funny boys next door, learning to love Relief Society, really nicely remodeled place.
Something i would like to forget: no couch and no closet, listening to Shalee and Rex (now married) make out on the bunk underneath me, landlord Loren's KILLER dogs that would bark and scare you to death every time you left the house, the death of the Subaru.

Number 9: The Omni

Age when i lived her: 23-24
Roommates: Rachel, Lisa, Allie, Beth
Good Times: Riding my bike everywhere, my long long long beautiful hair that i miss so so so much, using Sean's BMW to drive everywhere, a successful dinner group, Road trips to Vegas, Huntington, and Tahoe, Painting and decorating, the best birthday I've ever had.
Something i would like to forget: the day when Derek called to tell me he had cancer, an unhealthy relationship, all the patent leather shoes i wore (gross), dangerous shopping habits.

& finally, Number 10: The Fishbowl Age when i lived here: 24
Roommates: Francesca, Emily, Sarah, Angenelle, Stef
Good Times: Giving the house a complete makeover, awesome backyard BBQs and parties, my beautiful TV, a closet straight out of MTV cribs (no joke, the thing was the size of a room, and i did install a chandelier, 4 covered parking spots.
Something i would like to forget: My job, an always icy driveway, dust bunnies everywhere from the Ikea area rug, creeptastic Landlord.

Provo, overall, was good to me. Lots of jobs, friends, ex-boyfriends, drama, and a lot of growing up and learning. I am glad i am gone, but i am also glad that i was there for that time in my life.

BYE BYE PROVO.

my nephews

This afternoon I borrowed my boss's fancy fancy camera and went with my sister and my nephews to the park...they were perfect little models.
Jack
Lincoln

could they be any cuter?

My room

its been a work in progress. I moved in at the beginning of July, and all of my old stuff is ugly so i am re-doing it all. I hope it comes together!!!???
this is my duvet. Its in the mail. I think. It was on backorder when i bought it a few weeks ago but it should be on its way by now. No shams, just the duvet. Cute right?
this is where i have been housing all my jewels and treasures. I got this metal form at Rod Works by thanksgiving point in utah, but i saw it a few weeks ago at Thai Pan in St George.I got this in the mail yesterday (bought on etsy), and have not yet hung it on my gray walls. Its going to go above my bed. I am thinking it will probably be in a black frame
this is the shelf that my friend Danny helped me with. I got the brackets from Anthropologie, and he cut the wood and put it up. it was kind of an ordeal but i think it turned out cute. The lamp i got a few years ago from Pier 1 and is still one of my most favorite things i own.

My boss gave me two end tables today that are utah-looking wood. So i am going to paint those black as well as my desk i bought on craigs list, where i will adorn some of my anthro knobs. It should be cute. I am loving it.

my life is so boring.

-i got some photoshop actions that are unreal. get them for yourself here...the originaland with an action. pretty cool huh?

-i watched ABCs "Stand up to Cancer" on Friday night and sobbed and sobbed. i dont know if its just me, but im POSITIVE im going to get cancer. I am convinced of this. It all started a few years ago when i read Lance Armstrongs book,"its not about the bike" and then one of my best friends Derek got sick with Hodgkins, and now i learn that 1 of 2 men will get cancer in their lifetime???? WHAT? I am getting cancer if i dont already have it.

-I am such a teeny bopper. I am loving the new 90210, i downloaded Miley Cyrus and Jonas Brothers new CDs this morning, and i'm not even embarrased. Looks like i never grew up from those JTT days.

-I lost all of my contacts in my phone when i was in utah, and i didnt and still dont want to send out a mass email asking for your phone number, but if you want to give it to me and want me to be able to call you, than you can email it to me. Shavs.lewis@gmail.com

- I am really missing utah this week. Not really. I mean i am missing autumn. Its like 100 degrees here and there are no leaves on anything so its just kind of still summer but its september? Gross, i hate it. I want to wear tights.

-You know what the worst thing is? Waking up at 8:43am when youre supposed to be at work at 9. Yeah, not the best way to start out your day. Im covered in yesterdays skin and hair grease. All i want is a shower.

-The new Ben Folds song with Regina Spektor is so good except why did he have to ruin it with an F word? SO ANNOYING

-Good thing they still want me working at anthro because im scheduled for 1 on call shift next week. PUHLEASE.

-I am gearing up for Grey's Anatomy to come back on by watching the old episodes on abc.com while i paint in my room. I just want to see Meredith and McSteamy in love again.

-Breaking Dawn was probably the dumbest book i have ever read in my entire life.

-Katie Rose moved back to Huntington for a nursing job. Kelsey lives for away and has her own friends and life, so it looks like i need to find some friends. Maybe i will start talking to people in my ward?

-I still haven't found a leopard cardigan.

-I bought some stuff from the etsy shop Lou&Lee, it came yesterday in the mail. And since my hair was in a greasy state and there was no getting around some sort of accessory to take the attention off the dirtyness, i broke in one of these hydrangea clips. Cute right? I also bought a headband and some bloomers for a gift for a girl i work with at anthro. I just love all this felty goodness. And yes its all for babies but shes nice and made me a headband that fits my head.

HELP!

I am desperate for a leopard print cardigan. I have wanted one for a year or so now, but i am finally serious about it. The first is my friend Ashley in one from Forever 21, and that was back in march so i am guessing they no longer have it...plus i want something long sleeved...the second is from Jcrew, and for 98 dollars i am not loving it, plus i want something more leopard, less SNOW leopard...you know what im saying?

ANYONE KNOW WHERE I CAN GET ONE?